How I Stopped Hating Myself: Lessons in Sobriety by David R Penny Together We Can

If someone asks why you’re not drinking, keep it light and simple. ‘I’m just taking a break’, or, ‘I’m trying something different’ usually does the trick without inviting further questions. Drinks add up fast – especially when you’re treating yourself to that ‘just one more’ cocktail. Suddenly, I had extra cash for the things that genuinely made me happy, like trips, self-care splurges, or even just saving for something special. Sober curious people pay attention to how alcohol affects them physically and mentally. They drink deliberately, with more awareness and consideration, prioritising quality over quantity.

Now I’m definitely more attentive and conversations are more interesting. I think I am able to connect more to the discussion and the person I’m talking to. I am more resilient as I drank to get through periods of stress, heartbreak or sadness, which meant I tried to avoid them – and you can never avoid them really! Without alcohol, I https://northiowatoday.com/2025/01/27/sober-house-rules-what-you-should-know-before-moving-in/ actually have to face those things so I feel stronger in myself to be able to deal with them if they arise again. Mini wines or spirits are great for portion control. It’s much easier to stop after one glass when you’re not staring at an open bottle.

How to build a support system for sobriety

The other people next to you at group therapy sessions and support group meetings all have experiences that can help you. They want to be there for you when you are struggling. If you are hungry, even if that is not your main issue, get something healthy to eat.

Self-Reflection in Sobriety

Here I was hating everything about that moment, about myself, and every single thing that I had overthought, and every word I told myself that no one cared, no one would notice. Instead, here was Andrew, my boss, being supportive, working to help me find a way to get out to Vancouver. Telling me that I was valued, that I was welcome back, and that if I needed something, he will be there. It was supportive, someone cared about me more than myself, and the realization came to me, I was so wrong about myself. And after doing all of my dirt, I paid my karmas in cash.

As you get going, keep a simple chart or use an app that tracks your progress. Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions. Before you know it, a lousy day in sobriety can quickly turn into your last day in sobriety if you turn to drugs and alcohol to ease your emotional discomfort.

Susan G. Komen also finds that alcohol consumption has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer, as it can raise oestrogen levels and contribute to hormone-sensitive cancers. Initially, I thought giving up alcohol was betraying feminism. The freedom to drink pints, do shots, and be a ‘loud-mouthed mess’ was an act of rebellion and defiance; a declaration that I wasn’t afraid to take up space. When I quit, I worried that I’d confirm every stereotype about women being too uptight, too worried about being out of control and un-ladylike.

Focus on conversation

It may also encompass concerns about how to cope with stress and social situations soberly if one does not feel they have the proper emotional tools to regulate the nervous system. When it seems like all you want to do is forget, to go get high or drunk and be gone, if only for a few moments, remember what addiction’s cost you. Remember what life was like when every moment was chaos and unmanageable. Remember how family and friends wouldn’t return calls or didn’t trust to leave you alone. And you’ll remember what you’ve got to fight for.

This really sucks. What should I do?

There is a lot of stuff to process as you build your life in recovery every day, and that isn’t always going to be easy. We don’t talk enough about the fact that sobriety CAN’T solve your problems. We say, “alcohol has destroyed your life and led you down this path,” which is true, but YOU had a role in it as well. I’m no longer a self-absorbed, sad woman drinking herself into oblivion every night.

Anything you can do to improve your overall health and wellness will serve double duty and improve your ability to stay sober. I know people will say things like go out and visit museums or similar but when you’re single doing those things alone is just as bad. You have to be willing to do the work, to embrace the suck.

• The saying goes that your worst day in sobriety is better than your best day in addiction.
• Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous.
• Without alcohol, I felt less anxious and more in control of my emotions.
• Start with something manageable, like one alcohol-free weekend or a dry month, and see how it feels.

I couldn’t find anything to entertain myself, so I ended up sitting around my apartment thinking about alcohol all day. I don’t think that sobriety is everyone’s way to make peace. But to be frank, the more I drink, more despair I receive. But sobriety taught me to be present because I have to live life. Adults face consequences, Adults fix their mistakes instead of burying them deep, Adults grow and I grow better.

Why are Gen Z sober curious?

If you tell yourself everyday that you are worthless, you find reinforcement of that in every small inconvenience, every minor mistake, and every failed interaction. I finally got to the point so dark, so lonely, so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t stand one more day like this and I knew that I couldn’t live like this anymore. I could either keep feeling like this, or quit every substance and see what could change.

Reach out to a loved one when you’re feeling down. Why do people, who have been sober for years, behave inappropriately with alarming regularity? Recently, I was asked this question in group therapy (the exact words have been edited as they were not fit to print). The person who posed the question felt she had been misled.

• The confidence alcohol gives you isn’t really real.
• With your support network, mark milestones in your sobriety, whether they’re days, weeks, months, or years.
• When I was growing up, it was clear to me, and others, that I had some self-esteem issues.
• You have to be willing to do the work, to embrace the suck.
• Instead, buck up and remember what’s in your control.

But you have to go forward, and that’s not an easy direction. Sobriety forces us to reckon with the parts of ourselves that run deeper and darker than just being a bad friend or lousy date. When sober house you abuse alcohol, you become the center of the universe and can’t imagine for a second why anyone might want to escape your orbit.